solipsism
sado-grannies
I was invited to a BDSM party in Lisbon last weekend.
Though I was curious and, for some reason, vaguely flattered, the English in me rose to the surface and said 'gosh, how awfully exciting - thanks ever so, but I haven't got anything to wear, you see, and I have a bit of a cold...'
Cowardice and germs versus a night that would, I'm sure, have been 'blogging gold'.
But even more terrifying than hairy, sweaty people in pvc is the dinner-party-extravaganza that granny is planning for this weekend. I have a photo of the last one:
But this time there'll be thousands of oldies crammed into her bijou apartments, all trying to get a spoonfull of fish whilst sweating in tight-clothing.
In my delerious and germ-filled head, the two weekends are blurring into one unholy event. I wake up from nightmares with visions of granny's friends in pvc, flomping themselves about to rave music and eating fish.
God help me...
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lemonsquash / Website (16.11.06 10:10) Wot is doubly troubling is that I know what your granny looks like, and I can now only picture her with a ball gag strapped to her face. Thanks for that. |
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heather / Website (16.11.06 10:13) Has she started preparing the meat yet? |
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lemonsquash / Website (16.11.06 10:32) Eeeeew! |
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Solis / Website (16.11.06 10:56) She wanted to start stewing her meat on monday. Can you imagine how rank it would be by saturday? Tartlet, I suspect we'll all be gagging. |
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pog (16.11.06 11:19) So, which one is she in the photo then, Solis? Your granny a member of the Spanish Inquisition - who'd a thunk it? |
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Solis / Website (16.11.06 11:53) She doesn't appear in the photograph. The only way to get a snapshot of granny is with a night-vision camera that's been sanctified by a priest. Spanish? Phooey. Portuguese Inquifishion, and she's its leader. |
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amillionpieces / Website (16.11.06 12:55) Oh, how lovely for you. Um. Yes, Lovely, I'm sure... *cringes at thought* |
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Solis / Website (16.11.06 14:16) Lovely, Peej? You think it will be lovely? Then you can take my place - no, really, don't thank me. I'll tell them to expect you. One word of advice - don't eat the prawns - they were cooked today, 3 days away from the meal itself. |
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Kate / Website (16.11.06 20:37) I once went to a fetish club in Birmingham and it was full of matronly ladies in red leather catsuits with bubble perms and turquoise eyeshadow which probably hadn't been sold since Shaders 'n' Toners were the cutting edge in hair colourant. |
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Solis / Website (17.11.06 01:21) Well now I'm disappointed I didn't go. And as a further omen, the spam catcher says 'op hag'. |
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Jef (20.11.06 23:47) I once went to fetish club in London at the behest of a friend who I owed a favour to. I fell asleep and missed the 'Pissing Show' that was billed on the flyers. I've not seen that friend in 3 years. |
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pog (18.12.06 16:40) I say solis old bean. Heppy Farkin' Christmas, my dear! And have a Jolly New Year ... (Sorry, I really don't know what came over me there, accent-wise ... slip of the brain.) |
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amillionpieces / Website (2.1.07 18:15) Happy New Year, Solis! |